We Have No Voice

TrainersI have to admit I am currently struggling with ‘Happy Thoughts’. Even my new pair of purple Converse has only managed to raise a small smile.

Friday was meant to be the day when we heard the verdict of the court case regarding Winnie Whirlwind’s Little Sister. Special Guardianship versus adoption was the case up for discussion. We have been waiting for this moment since September.

The result; an adjournment until June sometime. The reason; concerns about the Special Guardian under consideration and more information required.

Little Sis was only a couple of weeks old when the local authority approached us as her potential adopters. If she is finally placed with us or a Special Guardian, she will be over a year old. 

I don’t care what anyone says this little one will undoubtedly have some attachment issues, caused by the system.

In the meantime our lives, the lives of Little Sis and her foster carers and the birth family all remain in limbo.

To make matters worse we were due to go to approval panel today in London at 2pm. We were sitting on the station waiting for the train when my mobile rang at 9.30am this morning. It was the assessing social worker calling to say that we were no longer going to panel as some of the paperwork was incomplete! We and the assessing authority have known about panel since January. We submitted all necessary documents and forms just after Christmas.

The thing I find the hardest about all of this is that we have no voice, hence my rant here. We are expected to ‘hang on in there’. We have to sit back quietly and wait, just in case the court finally decides that Little Sis should be adopted. Then we will have to pick up the pieces and parent another traumatised little girl.

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5 thoughts on “We Have No Voice

  1. It is a mess.
    So sorry that this mess is impacting on you and on children you care about. I can’t think of anything helpful to say.
    But, you have every right to be fed up!

  2. Hi, I’ve just found your blog. Good to meet you!
    We have a son who we adopted at 20 months. Two years in we recieved a phone call to say that his little brother had been born. It took 14 anguished moths to bring little brother home to us; months full of uncertainty, hope and fear. We were never told that the plan all along was for him to come to us, and I still find it hard to forgive social services and the system that we missed out on 14 months of his life. And that he had to wait so long to have his life disrupted. I do not understand how kids so often get left in limbo for so long, how families are being tortured like this.
    We too felt that we had no voice, that we dared not say what we really felt for fear of losing little bro; we just had to bite our tongues and wait. And wait.
    I hope your situation resolves well for you all.
    Meggy

    • Hi Meggy
      Good to meet you too! Glad to hear things worked out for you. The hardest part is the uncertainty. But we actually heard from the social worker today and it looks like things may be progressing in our favour, but don’t want to get too excited!! So fingers crossed. And thank you for getting in touch it’s good to know that other people have had similar experiences that have worked out eventually! Hope it’s all going well now?

  3. Hi, just seen your reply.
    Hope things are working out for you.
    We have 2 happy boys, now 10 and 7. We do believe that younger son would have been a different child if he had been allowed to come to us at or soon after birth, he is very hyper and can be insecure. But that’s the system. 😦 At least he doesn’t have all the issues that his elder brother suffers with. Both are positive and caring kids, they are just a bit ….. different. They get so much out of being together, of having their own birth sibling with them that we could never regret having both. They do however get distressed at times that they cannot meet a third birth sibling who we did not get the opportunity to adopt.

    • Hi Meggy

      Sorry for the delay in replying I have had a bit of a social media blackout, trying to carry on as normal and that nothing is happening, but not really succeeding! Its really good to hear things have worked out for you. Sorry you didn’t get to meet the third sibling, that must be hard? But sounds like you’ve had your hands full 🙂 The decision about our daughter’s sibling is being made in court this week, hopefully! Fingers crossed we should have an answer by Friday!

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