Deciding not to go ahead with Fostering to Adopt is really the only decision we have made during the whole process, which began when we agreed to adopt again in September 2013. And it has been liberating. We can now step back, albeit temporarily and take stock of things.
A very close friend recently experienced a similar feeling, but in relation to work. She was asked to apply for an internal promotion. It was a role that she previously hadn’t even considered. In fact she thought it would be far too stressful. But once the carrot had been dangled she wanted it more than anything. When it didn’t materialise she was devastated, for a moment! But then she started thinking….she loves her existing job and her team. Everything would have changed. She reminded herself that she was more than happy where she was and with what she had already.
And that is what has been happening to us. Carrots have been dangled and we have spent the last year riding an emotional rollercoaster with far too many dips and not enough peaks. So for now we are taking stock.
We have a great life! Two fantastic children. An amazing support network of family and friends who are still with us on the rollercoaster, ready and waiting with a shoulder to cry on, or a dose of light relief whenever we need it (you know who you are!) Two brilliant support workers who help us through the challenges of living with Attachment Disorder. Great employers who have been incredibly understanding, allowing us to take time off whenever we need it. Fostering to Adopt may have meant losing my job. A job that I enjoy and that actually helps keep me sane!
We were happy before the carrots were dangled and despite the stresses and strains of everyday life we are happy now. So for the time being we are going to concentrate on our family, living our life and enjoying the last couple of months of the year and the chaos that arises as we hurtle towards Christmas.
Who knows what 2015 will bring. Who cares, lets just live for the moment! And for me that moment begins with a girl’s weekend of self- (or maybe over-) indulgence in Paris. Thank goodness I didn’t cancel it!