Does anyone remember Richard E Grant lamenting: “We’ve gone on holiday by mistake”, in the film Withnail and I?
Well today we went for a family walk by mistake.
Family walks always seem like a great idea before you actually set off. I envisage glorious sunshine, birds tweeting, trees and flowers blossoming, kids and dogs frolicking and peace and tranquility for Mum and Dad.
But reality can be cruel!
On this occasion we had all agreed we would set aside Monday to do something together. Even Sammy Skateboard agreed that a walk would be a good idea as the weather forecast was fairly positive.
So after everyone was fed and watered and last wees were had, we set off.
And then it started. Teenage-itus set in: “Why are we here? You got me out of bed too early (10.30am); I completely disagree with your choice of location; This is completely pointless; Can we go home now; Can we go home now; Can we go home now; You’re so mean; Can we go home now!”
You get the picture!
And this was interjected with cries of “I need a poo,” every 5 minutes, despite having been to the toilet two minutes before we set off. “This walk is taking to long, I need a poo!”
And so it continued for the entire 1.5 hour circular walk.
The scenery was lovely, the birds did tweet, the dog frolicked and Baby Billy seemed to enjoy being out and about (and watching the wheels go round on his buggy). But for me this was all slightly overshadowed by the constant drone of a moaning 15 year old and a whinging 7 year old, who incidentally conveniently forgot her predicament every time she encountered a tree worth climbing!
Will I learn my lesson? Probably not! I will continue to encourage (or force) everyone to come on family outings in the hope that one day we will have a good time. We will be one of those families you see pictured in glossy magazines and ‘lifestyle blogs’ laughing and frolicking through long grass together!
So after a very large glass of medicinal Sauvignon Blanc in the pub on the way home I’m already planning our next outing, complete with toilet stops. Watch out Sammy there is no escape!!