In the very early days of becoming adoptive parents, a very highly respected professional said to us: “please bear in mind that this could be how it will always be.”
She didn’t want us to give up hope, but she also didn’t want us to focus our whole lives on trying to change something that may never change. She wanted us to make the most of what we have and enjoy our lives and all of our children. Her comment has stayed with us and helped us to take things one day at a time, to appreciate the little things and not expect giant leaps. And it is the little things that mean a lot…..
When we go out for a family day and nobody moans!
When the sun is shining and the garden is an option.
When all three children are in the same room and nobody is shouting, poking, prodding or calling someone names.
When I discover a secret stash of chocolate I had forgotten about.
When the school phones to tell me Winnie has had a good day!
When The Teenager emerges from his bedroom and curls up next to me on the sofa to watch trashy American comedies.
When we leave electronic devices behind and head for the beach.
When Baby Boy’s face lights up as I enter the room. When he wraps his arms and legs around me and clings to me like a little monkey.
When the children hug each other.
When the teenager hugs me.
When the first word I hear every mornings is “Mama.”
When the children make each other laugh.
When the Teenager actually tells us what he has been up to.
When Winnie sits down on her own, writes a story and draws a picture all about what she would like to do with Mummy. This may seem like a small thing for many parents of an eight year old, but Winnie hates reading and writing. She also struggles to express her feelings in an appropriate manner. So this isn’t just a little thing. For us it is huge. It really is a moment to be treasured.