With National Adoption Week just around the corner I thought I would write a positive blog. The majority of my posts focus on the trials and tribulations of parenting our gorgeous, lively, but chaotic and challenging nine year old daughter. Being typically British I tend to focus on the negative rather than the positive. And to be honest emptying my brain on to a page is very therapeutic!
However we also have two other children. Our amazing, intelligent, loving and completely laid-back (he’s often horizontal) 18 year old birth son Sammy, who would hate it if I wrote anything about him. And our bundle of joy, Baby Billy who we adopted two years and nine months ago.
Our second experience of adopting has been completely different in every way. Unlike his big sister, Billy fortunately hasn’t suffered any trauma. He was taken in to foster care when he was very tiny and was loved and cared for by one amazing lady, who also did a fantastic job in helping him transfer his attachment to us and in particular me, his Mummy. We cannot thank her enough for this.
Billy was just eight months old when we brought him home, which I think has made a huge difference. And he really is our ray of sunshine. Sammy and Winnie absolutely adore him (they don’t tolerate each other) and Billy adores them. Sadly life with Winnie is not easy. But even on a really bad day Billy’s love for life and us, cannot help but make us all smile.
Billy has developed a very secure attachment to us. His behaviour, in terms of attachment, is no different from Sammy’s at the same age. I know that there may be problems further down the line when he starts to question why he was adopted, but the fact that he trusts us and doesn’t just know, but believes we love him unconditionally, is surely bound to help.
And he does trust us, there is no doubt in his mind that we will always be there for him. He frequently demonstrates his trust physically! Yesterday he unexpectedly jumped off the third stair in to my arms, in no doubt that I wouldn’t catch him (he’s getting heavy!).
Billy really does love life, he is interested in everything around him and keen to learn. He is a happy, content three year old, (except when he is tired and hungry!) He is wary of strangers, keen to please and hates being in trouble. At three years old he is already aware that Winnie doesn’t always make the right choices and often tells her so, which doesn’t go down too well! He loves his family, our animals, playing house, visiting the City Farm and Peppa Pig. Life for Billy at the moment is simple.
And for us, adopting Billy is one of the best things we have ever done. Billy brings us all together and reminds us of the joys of life. He really is our ray of sunshine.
So what is the moral of this story? Adoption, so good we did it twice?
I can’t lie being an adoptive parent is challenging. But being a parent full-stop has its moments, high and low! Whichever route you take to become a family, nothing is ever certain. Nobody knows what the future holds. The only thing that is certain is that when you have children your life will never be the same again and it certainly won’t ever be dull. Having children is a risk, but it is a risk we are glad we have taken, even if we sometimes despair!